As a mom of littles, I’m not just making decisions for myself, I’m making so many of theirs too, and the decision fatigue can be draining! I used to have such a hard time trusting my own decisions… I’d go back and forth and second guess myself constantly (for a variety of reasons I won’t get into here). Over the years I’ve become so much more confident, especially as a mom. Anthony has always been the “just make a decision and stick with it” type, and being around that steadiness helped me trust myself more. Now once we decide something, I stick with it instead of going back and forth with “wait, are you sure?”

Something that has helped me so much is having default decisions. These are things I decided once (some more intentionally than others), like what we eat when there’s no plan or what I wear when I can’t figure out an outfit, and now they’re more of a habit. Some are small daily routines and some are bigger choices about holidays and money, but either way, we already know how we approach them.

Here are 39 of mine (this list could have kept going, I didn’t realize how many of the same things I do constantly).

1. Halloween costumes that aren’t scary. This year Poppy picked a butterfly and Elliott picked Lightning McQueen, and both are so cute for pretend play after Halloween is over too! (Last year Poppy was a horse and Elliott was a dinosaur and they still run around the house in them playing) I’m between these options for Clive: either a chicken, highland cow or this pumpkin that Elliott wore before. All so cute!

2. We treat our credit card like a debit card. We followed Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace class to pay off our credit cards and student loan debt, so I know he would NOT approve of this one (sorry Dave!). I get what he means that it can be a slippery slope (having a credit card is easier to spend than using cash or a debit card where you can see the money coming out), but we’re really disciplined with it. We only use it for the points and pay it off in full every month.

3. When we walk in the door, the first thing is hands washed and nose spray for everyone. We wash our hands with soap, and the nose spray has propolis and oregano in it to help clear out whatever we picked up while we were out. Everyone has their own bottle and I mark them with their initials so nobody shares the same one.

4. We only drink filtered water, never from plastic bottles. If I was starting over and had to pick only one change, this would be it. We drink so much water every day, so it’s an easy way to cut down on things like microplastics and what’s in tap water without changing much else. The filters we use are third party tested and share their results, and when we travel I bring a bottle with a built in filter (it’s saved me so much money bc I don’t have to buy water on the go). This is the size that I got for Jadyn’s dorm. Every time I fill up, electrolytes and trace minerals go in too.

5. My go-to outfit is jeans, a white tee and a black leather jacket. Over the years I’ve been more drawn to a classic look and this always feels fresh to me. I’m not one to wear much color… I used to try to talk myself into it. Like should I be wearing more color?? Now I know what I feel confident in and I don’t overthink it. It works for day or night and I like a slimmer leather jacket like this one or this one because it makes the whole thing feel more put together. For white long sleeve white tee (wearing it in size L in this post here. Or my short sleeve, both 100% cotton. Jeans I like a slim and straight leg high rise.

6. Anything I don’t want to forget goes into a voice note. I set this up once, and now anytime something pops in my head (whether it’s a to-do or something I want to look into later) I just talk into my phone and it sends me a reminder to follow up on it. Then I decide if it goes on the calendar or what the next step is during review. I don’t have to stop and figure it out in the moment, so I can do what I call a “mind dump” and let it go. I shared how to set it up in this post here. I LOVE this!

7. A rainy day means a Christmas movie and the fireplace, even in Oct! I got this candle with that in mind (beeswax and essential oils with a wood burning wick for the crackle, it’s so cozy!). This is more the default for a rainy weekend day, during the week we don’t have our TV rolled out.

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A month after Clive was born I was getting everyone out the door when I thought, I need to call to reschedule Poppy’s dentist appointment. By the time we were in the car, I jumped on a different call and forgot. I remembered right as I was falling asleep and I thought, shoot, it’s the weekend now and they’re closed! Ugh. Then the gift I kept meaning to order popped in my head and the fence quote Anthony asked me about three days before, and that’s not counting all the content ideas for our business. Everything was on a running to-do list in my notes app and calendar reminders, but that list was so long I was never getting through it in a day, and that night I knew I needed something better, more intuitive.

I’m not the most organized person but I’m VERY creative, so I’ll have all these ideas while I’m driving and then a text or an email comes in and I’ll have to get back to it after, usually writing it down in my notes (with sometimes no context). With so many ideas the decision fatigue of figuring out which one to do first was real. I’d be folding laundry and think, wait, should I really be doing this right now or should I be starting that other project I keep thinking about? Even sitting with the kids I’d catch myself thinking about what I needed to do next, which is the opposite of how I want to spend that time. I read that it takes about 23 minutes to get back into what you were doing after you get interrupted, and in a normal day being a mom to little ones that can happen every few minutes. That was exactly how it felt, and our brains can’t really multitask, we just bounce back and forth and lose a little focus every time.

When we moved from CA to TN it was for many reasons, but downsizing our lifestyle was one of them. I used to have an assistant who managed my calendar and kept track of everything in Monday.com, and a nanny I could hand the kids off to when I needed to jump on my computer. When we moved we decided not to bring that help with us. Their childhood is going to go by so fast, and of all the things to outsource, time with my kids wasn’t one of them (I learned that lesson the hard way with Jadyn (my oldest who is now in college), I felt like I was always too busy for her and on the go which I share more about in previous posts). I figured I had to be a lot more strategic with my time but I still wasn’t the most organized with it. I was winging it half the time!

Around that time Anthony was helping small businesses automate the mundane tasks that keep them running so they could spend more time on the work they love, and I said to him, why can’t we do this for our house and our own routines? What I needed was something like a house manager, with systems that stay a few steps ahead for me. And that’s what he created for me. I’m not techy at all (I joke that I’m IT challenged!), and I wouldn’t be where I am today without Anthony because I come up with the ideas and he figures out how to get it done. That’s how we started the blog back in 2013 when I had the vision for it and he built the website to bring it to life, he’s always been the systems person. So we sat down and talked through everything that was stressing me out. I wanted to be more present mentally with the kids and stop worrying that something was getting forgotten in the background. We started putting it in place before Clive was born, and as I healed and got back into my routine after, I kept adding to it once I realized how much more I needed handled automatically.

I still have my reservations about AI. Will I ever let a robot in our house? Absolutely not and Anthony agrees that’s a hard pass. But if it can take the mundane stuff off my plate so I have more brain space for my kids then yes I’m in! Anthony first built our automations with Claude Code, which is what he uses for his business clients. Last month, Meta (Facebook/IG) came out with an app called Muse, and that’s what we’ll walk you through step by step. The difference is I don’t have to keep prompting it. It’s more like having a house manager who’s already a few steps ahead and brings things to me before I think to ask. You just need to know how to set up the different automations and how to prompt it.

It’s become such a normal part of our routine now that I didn’t think twice about it until I was explaining my setup to a friend who’s also a creator, and she said “HELP, you need to show me how to do this.” She hadn’t heard of Muse or set up any automations and was mostly using ChatGPT to look things up, which is how I used it at first too. And when I told Jadyn what we were working on, she asked me “wait, what’s automation?” With how much we hear about AI now I assumed more people were using it like this, but those conversations made me realize not everyone is using it like this at all. It could help so many moms, especially if you don’t have help at home or someone to think through these systems with you. Anthony has become the go-to for our friends whenever they’re stuck with AI, so we’re teaching it together step by step so you can set it up too.

Here’s the normal things I stopped doing myself:

I stopped trying to remember it all.

Now when something pops into my head I press the action button on the side of my phone and create an actionable voice note. For example “Book Poppy’s dentist for sometime in November.” “Remind me Thursday to pull the frozen meat out for stew.” “Sometime this month I need to research best low tox gift ideas for kids”

From there it takes care of the rest. Each note gets sorted into the right category and any day I mention either goes on my calendar or becomes a reminder. Every morning I see my top three things that NEED to get done that day based on priority. This is super convenient when I’m out with the kids or in the middle of something because I make the voice note and move on with my day knowing it’s being handled in the background.

Anthony put together a how-to guide for this one, so if you want to set it up yourself you can sign up here and we’ll send it to you.

I stopped trying to remember the priorities of the day.

At 6pm every evening my automated routine sends me a short recap showing what got done that day and what’s still open. That includes everything from my voice notes along with reminders from the other automations I’ll explain below. Then at 6:30am the next morning it sends me my top three for the day that have to be completed, already in order so I know which one comes first.

Now I wake up to three things and a clear place to start. You can choose how many priorities you want each morning but three has worked well for me, and I’ll show you my system for it.

I stopped trying to keep up with my inbox.

Not all emails need a reply but there’s still something I want to remember, like a seasonal event I don’t want to forget or a sale coming up that I don’t want to miss. Those little things were easy to lose track of in between everything else.

Now my automated routine goes through my emails as they come in and flags what needs me, without deleting or moving anything. Anything that needs a response gets flagged first, and the ones that just need an action later get turned into a reminder for the right day. If something is waiting on a reply from me it stays on my list until I answer it, and if I emailed someone and never heard back it reminds me to follow up. I can also ask if there’s anything I need to respond to right away.

So in the morning I know which ones need a response and will prioritize by importance. Plus not forget action items for the other things in there (like that sale!).

I stopped losing my ideas.

Anything I say in a voice note that starts with “idea” is automatically saved to its own list. Then every Thursday my automated routine emails me all of that week’s ideas so I can go through them and decide what to keep. I like getting all my ideas out when they come to me and reviewing them later to decide which ones I’ll act on and which ones can wait. Some of them I end up deleting off the list after seeing all of them as an overview. It helps me seeing it all in one place.

I stopped saving IG posts I’d never find again.

I’m a serial saver and SO many of my saves end up buried in a folder I never open again. I even file them into different categories, but when I go back to look I can’t remember which one I put it in. Now my automated routine keeps track of my saves for me. When I need one I just ask something like “what’s the paint color I saved last week?” and it pulls it right up. I still save it, but if it’s not in a perfectly categorized folder, I know I can still find it easily at a later date. I will also during brainstorming use this to grab ideas, like pull any of my saved paint posts. I have the report sent via email with links to the posts.

I stopped running our calendar by hand.

With everyone’s schedules and both our personal and work calendars, it’s easy for things to overlap. My automated routine reads the details of the event or appt and adds to our calendar for me. If it overlaps with something we already have, it lets me know before adding it so I can decide what to do. It also blocks off the drive time so I know exactly when we need to leave. My work blocks and my own time are already on there, so it schedules everything else around them.

Then every Friday EOD I ask it what the following week looks like and it gives me an overview. It tells me which days are too full and flags anything I need to prep ahead, whether that’s a gift for a birthday or the supplies for a recipe I’m baking that week or an appointment I need items for before we go.

I stopped keeping track of seasonal activities myself.

There are so many things to manage and not miss, especially during the busy holiday seasons. My automated routine keeps a running calendar of seasonal activities like all the fall festivities starting here. When I see an IG post or an email about something fun I let my automated routine know. It also searches our local area for events that are a good fit for my kids’ ages.

Two weeks before anything comes up I get an email with what’s coming and a plan for it. For October it sent me the pumpkin patches near us with their hours, which ones are best for little kids and which weekend we had open to go. For birthdays it reminds me to order the gift in time. If your kids are in sports or school activities this would work well for those too. It’s always thinking ahead of schedule.

I stopped the 5pm “what’s for dinner.”

So many of you told me meal planning is your biggest struggle, and it used to be mine too! I want my kids eating nourishing meals but weeknights need to be quick. Once a week I just say “plan my week” and my automated routine picks five easy seasonal dinners from our usual rotation, and I swap out anything that doesn’t sound good that week. It checks against the stock list I update once a month, then gives me one grocery list that marks what to pick up at the farmers market and what goes on our delivery order, plus a reminder when to place it.

Because our dinners come from the same rotation I’m not buying random spices for one-off meals anymore. It also means I can buy our organic staples in bulk, which I’ll share more about in a future post. This system is working really well for us.

I stopped tracking packages in my head.

We order from so many places, and none of those apps talk to each other or tell you when a return window is about to close. My automated routine pulls every order confirmation from my email into one list, whether it’s from Amazon or Target or various shops, so I can see what’s arrived and what we’re still waiting on without checking multiple apps. Sometimes a small package never shows up and I don’t realize it until it’s too late to do anything about it. It flags anything that should have arrived by now and keeps an eye on return windows, so the package that never came doesn’t turn into money we lost.

I’m assuming this will be especially helpful at Christmas with orders coming from so many different shops, excited to have a better system to track it! Last year I was doing it all via notes and marking them as they got delivered (but would forget to mark some when they came!) Not the best system.

I stopped letting subscriptions ride.

Once a month my automated routine scans my email for receipts and renewal notices and pulls every recurring charge into one list, from streaming services to the apps I signed up for once and never used again (the amount of times I do this!). It sends me that list with what each one costs and when it renews next, so I can catch the ones I don’t use and keep paying for what we love. The list shows up on its own so I never have to remember to go looking, and all I have to do is make the decision on what to keep.

I stopped spending hours researching.

When we need to look into something I mention it in a voice note while I’m going about my day, and my automated routine takes it from there. Later there’s a “findings report” in my email with the top pick, pros and cons, customer reviews/ratings and the best price. Most recently we were comparing new family cars, so it pulled together the safety reviews for each one we were considering. It also looked into whether dealerships had end of year offers and whether certified pre owned would be the better choice for us based on how well it holds its value. What I got back was a short summary of what it found, so I could decide on the next step without feeling overwhelmed (and yes it’s best to negotiate end of year! so we’re waiting until then).

It’s just as helpful for house maintenance and anything that needs a quick decision but I don’t want to be on my phone doing the manual typing and want to review at a later date.

I still have days where the kids need me in five directions at once, but I’m not having to remember all the little things that keep our house running smoothly. And this is not all perfect! It’s a work in progress as we continue to learn what works best for us, the cool thing is you can customize it to what works best for you. I would try things for a week and then think, no, this needs a tweak, and Anthony would figure it out for me. Recently it even rescheduled a passport appointment for me. I used a voice note to say “remind me to reschedule my passport appointment,” and later it asked if I wanted it to handle it for me. Could I have done it myself? Of course! But I’d rather let my automated routine do it so I can spend that time on something else.

Anthony put together a step-by-step guide for each of these so you can set them up too, and the first one on voice notes is out now. Sign up here to get it and be notified when the next one drops!

Thank you for being here!

xx Brittany

I like knowing what we're having for dinner each week, so usually on the weekend before I'll plan out recipes and go to the farmers market to get all our meats and whatever veggies they have, and then I do Whole Foods (doorstep delivery is so nice!!) or Sprouts for the rest. This week all the meals were 20 minutes of prep or less. Everyone eats the same meal for dinner and we don't do snacks after they wake up from their nap so they're ready to eat by the time the food is ready. The other day they had pumpkin spice popcorn with me while I was making dinner (it's sooo good!) and that ruined their appetite a bit. But even when they're not hungry at dinner we still all sit together and pray to thank God for our meal, and they know we can warm it up later if they're not hungry for it right now. And that’s what they did on popcorn night. Either way we're all eating the same thing and I think that's why my kids are pretty adventurous eaters! I'll usually double a recipe depending on how big the serving size is and eat the leftovers for lunch the next day.

Monday: Chicken and red date ginger soup

10/10! This one is postpartum friendly and something my kids love because of the red dates. I made it for my friend who had just had her baby and tripled the recipe so we could have some for dinner the next night too.

It's something I prepped for my own postpartum recovery as well and it comes from the Chinese tradition of eating warm, nourishing meals after you give birth. The red dates are known for helping rebuild your blood and energy, and the chicken gives you the protein your body needs to heal in a warm broth that's really gentle on your stomach. This makes a great freezer soup to prep in advance of a busy week too! Full recipe here

Tuesday: Salmon tacos w/ homemade tortillas

Prep: 20 min | Cook: 20 min | Total: 40 min | Serves 6

13/10! My kids' favorite meal of the week. The blackened salmon really made it and it's so quick to cook this way. I only seasoned the kids' filets with salt and pepper because I didn't want them saying theirs was too spicy, but the chili powder was so delicious on ours. Homemade tortillas are SO easy and the kids love making them with me. For how delicious they turn out I think it's worth the extra 10 minutes of prep. They're also fun to make on the weekend and freeze for the week. Once they're cooked and cooled I stack them with parchment paper in between, freeze them in a bag and then warm them up in a skillet whenever we need them.

Before You Start

If you’re making the homemade corn tortillas below, start those first. Mix the tortilla dough and let it rest for 20 minutes. While the dough rests, prep everything for the salmon tacos. This way, most of the tortilla rest time overlaps with the taco prep.

Stem and thinly slice the collard greens, peel and cut the jicama into matchsticks, slice the radishes and red onion, and chop the cilantro. Zest and juice the limes before dividing the juice between the crema and slaw. Pat the salmon dry before seasoning.

If you’re making both recipes, plan on about 30 minutes of hands-on prep and around 50 to 60 minutes from start to dinner.

Ingredients

For the Avocado Crema:
1 avocado, chopped
½ cup chopped fresh cilantro
¼ cup plus 2 tablespoons (or 6 tablespoons) of water
2 tablespoons lime juice
2 tablespoons plain yogurt

For the Salmon Tacos
¼ teaspoon grated lime zest
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1 teaspoon salt, divided
4 ounces collard greens, stems removed and thinly sliced
4 ounces jicama, peeled and cut into matchsticks
4 radishes, cut into matchsticks
½ small red onion, thinly sliced
¼ cup fresh cilantro leaves
1½ teaspoons chili powder
¼ teaspoon black pepper
4 salmon fillets, 6 to 8 ounces each
1 tablespoon olive oil
Corn tortillas (recipe below), for serving
Hot sauce, optional

Instructions

1. Add the avocado, cilantro, water, lime juice, and yogurt to a food processor. Blend until smooth. Season with salt and pepper and set aside.

2. In a large bowl, whisk together the lime zest, 2 tablespoons lime juice, and ¼ teaspoon salt. Add the collard greens, jicama, radishes, red onion, and cilantro. Toss and set aside.

3. Mix the chili powder, remaining ¾ teaspoon salt, and black pepper together. Pat the salmon dry and season all over.

4. Heat a cast iron skillet over medium-high heat for about 3 minutes. Add the oil.

5. Place the salmon flesh-side down and cook for about 4 minutes without moving it.

6. Flip the salmon so the skin side is down. Lower the heat to medium and cook for another 4 to 6 minutes, or until the thickest part reaches 145°F.

7. Let the salmon rest for 2 minutes, then break it into large pieces with two forks and remove the skin.

Serving Instructions

Fill each warm tortilla with salmon, slaw, and avocado crema. Serve with extra lime or hot sauce if you want.

Extra soft homemade corn tortillas

Prep: 10 min | Rest: 20 min | Cook: 10 min | Total: 40 min | Makes 8 tortillas

Before You Start

Heat a cast iron skillet or griddle over medium-high heat for at least 5 minutes. Line your tortilla press with two pieces of parchment paper or a cut-open zip-top bag. If you don't have a press, place the dough ball between the parchment and press down firmly with the bottom of a heavy pot, skillet or glass baking dish. Have a clean kitchen towel ready to wrap the tortillas as they cook. Use very warm water for the dough and keep it on the softer side. The dough should feel a little wetter than you might expect. This helps keep the tortillas soft.

Ingredients

1⅛ cups masa harina
⅞ cup very warm water
¼ teaspoon fine sea salt
1 teaspoon melted butter

Instructions

1. Mix the masa harina and salt together.

2. Stir in the very warm water and avocado oil or melted butter.

3. Knead for 2 to 3 minutes until the dough is smooth and soft. It should feel like fresh modeling clay and shouldn’t crack when you roll it into a ball. If it feels dry or cracks, knead in warm water 1 teaspoon at a time until it feels soft.

4. Cover the dough with a damp towel and let it rest for 20 minutes.

5. Divide the dough into 8 equal balls and keep them covered so they don’t dry out.

6. Press each tortilla until thin, about 1⁄16 inch thick.

7. Place one tortilla on the hot dry skillet. Cook for 30 seconds on the first side, flip and cook for 45 seconds, then flip one more time for 10 to 15 seconds. Don’t cook it longer than needed or it can dry out.

8. As soon as each tortilla comes off the skillet, place it inside the clean kitchen towel and keep the towel folded closed.

9. Continue cooking and stacking the tortillas inside the towel. The steam from the warm tortillas will help keep the whole stack soft.

10. Let the wrapped stack sit for at least 10 minutes before serving. If they feel a little firm, sprinkle a few drops of water over the stack and close the towel again for a few minutes.

Wednesday: Honey sesame chicken rice bowls

Prep: 15 min | Cook: 30 min | Total: 45 min | Serves 4

11/10! This was an easy sheet pan dinner. The honey sesame sauce is sweet and savory, and the cashews add some crunch (my kids love cashews so it’s probably why they liked this one so much). I left out the red pepper flakes for the kids and served everything over rice.

Before You Start

Preheat your oven to 425°F. Cut the vegetables and chicken before you begin. Mince the garlic and ginger, chop the green onions, and measure out the cashews and sesame seeds. If you’re serving this with rice, start the rice before putting the vegetables in the oven.

Ingredients

½ cup coconut aminos
¼ cup honey
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon fresh ginger, minced or grated
2 bell peppers, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 small red onion, cut into chunks
3 cups broccoli florets
1 lb boneless skinless chicken, cut into bite-size pieces (chicken thighs are what I used for this)
½ cup cashews
¼ cup chopped green onions
2 tablespoons toasted sesame seeds
Cooked rice, for serving

Instructions

1. Whisk together the soy sauce, honey, rice vinegar, sesame oil, garlic, and ginger.

2. Add the bell peppers, red onion, and broccoli to a large sheet pan. Pour half of the sauce over the vegetables and toss to coat.

3. Roast at 425°F for 15 minutes.

4. While the vegetables cook, place the chicken in a bowl and pour the remaining sauce over it. Stir until coated.

5. Remove the sheet pan from the oven and add the chicken and all of its marinade. Spread the chicken into a single layer and scatter the cashews over the pan.

6. Return to the oven and bake for another 15 minutes, or until the chicken reaches 165°F.

7. Toss everything together on the pan, then sprinkle with green onions and toasted sesame seeds.

Serving Instructions

Serve over warm rice and spoon some of the sauce from the sheet pan over the top.

Thursday: Lentil soup with ground beef

Prep: 25 min | Cook: 1 hr 40 min | Total: 2 hr 5 min | Serves 6

12/10! This one looked a bit unappetizing while I was making it so I was a little unsure about it. But it came out SO good and was even better as leftovers. It’s also pretty filling because it has ground beef, lentils, carrots and brown rice all in one pot. I love including lentils in the week as much as I can because they’re a great source of fiber. It’s still low prep and while it takes longer to cook, most of that time is just simmering. I also added fresh herbs from the garden and more salt than the recipe calls for, but go off of taste and add more herbs if you want even more of that flavor.

Before You Start

Chop the onion, celery, and carrots. Mince the garlic. Measure out the lentils, brown rice, broth, and seasonings before you begin. Start with 1 cup of water, then add more later only if the soup needs it.

Ingredients

1 lb ground beef
2 teaspoons olive oil
½ cup finely chopped onion
½ cup finely chopped celery
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1½ tablespoons dried parsley
1½ teaspoons dried thyme
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
½ teaspoon smoked paprika
1¼ to 1½ teaspoons kosher salt, divided
½ teaspoon black pepper, divided
4 cups beef broth
2 cups chicken broth
1 cup water, plus more if needed
⅔ cup brown lentils
½ cup finely chopped carrots
½ cup brown rice
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

Instructions

1. Heat 1 teaspoon olive oil in a large soup pot over medium-high heat. Add the ground beef and season with about half of the salt and half of the black pepper.

2. Break the beef into small pieces and cook for 6 to 8 minutes, until browned and cooked through.

3. Transfer the beef to a plate, leaving a little of the fat in the pot.

4. Add the remaining teaspoon of olive oil, onion, and celery. Cook for 4 to 5 minutes until they begin to soften.

5. Add the garlic, dried parsley, thyme, cumin, garlic powder, onion powder, smoked paprika, remaining salt, and remaining black pepper.

6. Stir and cook for 1 to 2 minutes.

7. Add the cooked beef back to the pot.

8. Pour in the beef broth, chicken broth, and 1 cup water. Add the lentils and carrots and stir everything together.

9. Bring the soup to a gentle boil, then reduce the heat to low and simmer uncovered for about 60 minutes.

10. Check the liquid level. If the soup looks too thick, add more water ½ cup at a time.

11. Add the brown rice and continue simmering for another 30 to 40 minutes, stirring from time to time, until the rice and lentils are tender.

12. Stir in the balsamic vinegar.

13. Taste and add more salt or black pepper if needed.

Serving Instructions

Serve hot with warm sourdough bread and butter.

Friday: Seared garlic butter steak with maple rosemary potatoes & carrots

Prep: 20 min | Cook: 35 min | Total: 55 min | Serves 6

8/10! I skipped the searing because I started dinner later than I planned that night and BIG mistake. It wasn't as seasoned as I wanted and didn't have that crust on the steak I love. I seared it the next day for lunch leftovers and added garlic butter over the top again and it was so much better, so I wouldn't skip that part next time. This one is a little more hearty but still easy enough for a weeknight. The recipe has you sear the steak first and then finish it in the oven with purple sweet potatoes and carrots. Everything gets topped with garlic butter and lemon at the end. These are purple sweet potatoes from our garden but butternut squash or white sweet potatoes would also work if you can't find purple ones.

Before You Start

Preheat the oven to 425°F with a large sheet pan inside. Peel and cut the purple sweet potatoes into ¾-inch cubes. Scrub the carrots and slice them into ½-inch coins. Mince the garlic and chop the rosemary. Pat the steaks dry and let them sit out while you prep everything else.

Seasoning Blend for the Steak

1 tablespoon kosher salt
2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons onion powder
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1 teaspoon black pepper

For the Vegetables

1½ lb purple sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into ¾-inch cubes
1 lb carrots, scrubbed and cut into ½-inch coins
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary
½ teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon kosher salt
¼ teaspoon black pepper

For the Steak

2 lb ribeye or NY strip, about 1 inch thick
1 tablespoon olive oil
6 tablespoons butter
6 garlic cloves, minced
1 lemon

Instructions

1. Pat the steaks dry and season them all over with the steak seasoning blend. Let them sit while the vegetables start roasting.

2. Toss the purple sweet potatoes and carrots with the olive oil, maple syrup, rosemary, cinnamon, garlic powder, salt, and black pepper.

3. Remove the hot sheet pan from the oven and spread the vegetables in a single layer. Roast uncovered for 15 minutes.

4. While the vegetables roast, heat a cast iron skillet over high heat with 1 tablespoon olive oil until the oil is hot and just starting to smoke.

5. Add the steaks and sear for 2 minutes per side until browned.

6. Remove the sheet pan from the oven. Move the vegetables toward the outside of the pan and place the steaks in the center.

7. Return the pan to the oven and bake for 8 to 10 minutes, or until the steaks reach 155°F in the thickest part.

8. While the steaks finish, lower the heat under the cast iron skillet. Add the butter and let it melt.

9. Add the minced garlic and cook for about 1 minute, stirring and scraping up the browned bits from the bottom of the skillet.

10. Remove the sheet pan from the oven. Spoon the garlic butter over the steaks and let them rest for 5 minutes. They should rise to around 160°F for well done (I always like well done for the kids).

11. Toss the vegetables on the pan so they pick up some of the juices from the steak.

12. Slice the steak against the grain.

Serving Instructions

Serve the sliced steak with the maple rosemary purple sweet potatoes and carrots. Finish with a squeeze of lemon and a little flaky salt if you want.

Chocolate chip cookies

15/10! I love a sweet treat and I usually keep all the ingredients stocked for these so I can make them on a whim. If you don't have muscovado sugar (it's less refined so it keeps more of the natural molasses and minerals) you can swap in dark brown sugar 1:1 bc they're really similar.

Full recipe here, these cowboy cookies are also soo good if you want one that’s postpartum friendly too.

Let me know if you try any of these! :)

xx Brittany

These are the things I find myself using almost every day. I shared them on Instagram and wanted to add them here too, including the play mat we take everywhere and a few little things that make getting out of the house easier.

Play mat

This is great for the beach too! It folds up, snaps closed easily, and has a handle on top for carrying.

Baby carrier

Double stroller

Single stroller

Changing clutch

Muslin nursing cover

100% cotton dry wipes

Tangerine soap-and-water wipes

No essential oil soap-and-water wipes

These are the same soap and water wipes in two versions. The Free & Clear is unscented which is better for babies or sensitive skin, and the Tangerine has a light, natural citrus scent from essential oils (these are the ones I use).

Organic cotton grip socks

I just got them each a grey pair of these merino wool ones for when it gets colder too.

Everyday sandals

For fall, I just ordered these ones in tan for Elliott and these for Poppy.

Organic cotton Toy Story pajamas

Mulberry silk pillowcases

Toddler pillows

Motion sensor night light

Merino wool sleep sack

Botanical detangling spray

Electrolyte drink

Saline nasal spray

Beef sticks

Stainless steel divided plates or the set here.

Cotton canvas tote insert (in M/L size)

xx Brittany

I used to be VERY passionate about sleep training. I sleep trained Jadyn (my oldest, who's now 19) I remember reading the Babywise book, which explains you feed your baby every few hours on a set schedule and put them down for naps awake instead of nursing or rocking them to sleep. The idea is that full feedings during the day mean they don't need to eat at night. Plus learning to fall asleep on their own means they can settle themselves when they wake up. As a young mom who was worried about losing sleep, I thought it sounded great! A baby sleeping through the night early? Count me in!

I found it was pretty easy to implement with Jadyn. She was a mellow, go with the flow baby who went on the schedule naturally and slept through the night with little fuss. When pregnant with Poppy and on our babymoon in Santa Barbara, I reread Babywise and decided that we’d get Poppy on this same schedule too. It would make everything seamless, and I could jump back into work the way I was planning to. Easy right? Wrong!

I did everything the book said. I was so concerned about her getting the right amount of milk at the right time that I would pump and feed her the pumped milk (extra work for no reason, I know, I know) at set hours. It had worked for Jadyn, so I thought it had to work for Poppy too. She slept in a bassinet for the first couple of months in our room, and when she was around three or four months old I moved her down the hallway into her own room and crib. Co-sleeping wasn't something I'd even consider. All the schedules recommended babies sleep in their own bed and fall asleep on their own, no rocking and certainly no nursing to sleep. Bad habits! I would think, as if my baby would be using nursing as "a crutch." I thought I just needed to be more scheduled and start the day at the same time and wake her up from her naps to get her on the same nap schedule daily.

Every night I kept the baby monitor on my night stand, and when I heard her cry I'd run down the hall to get her, always in the biggest fog. It took so much effort to get out of bed and get to her. Anthony and I got so little sleep. I was so set on her sleeping through the night on her own, but some nights we'd cave and try bouncing her back to sleep. I was so confused about why she wasn't sleeping through the night that I thought I must be doing it wrong, and wondered why it had felt so simple with Jadyn. I remember being exhausted, trying to work and keep up with everything on four to five hours of sleep. I'd read mom blogs about babies on Babywise who fell right into the routine and never needed to be nursed to sleep. Their babies seemed relaxed and ready for bed, which made me feel even worse about it all. Meanwhile I was always asking what Poppy should be doing, whether she should be sleeping now or eating now, instead of going off of her cues. I would research “sleep regressions” and how we could skip them (as if a 4 month old had read the book and just needed some reminding). There was so much information that it felt like I was failing all the time.

So by the time I was pregnant with Elliott, we said there was NO WAY we were doing the schedule with him. I kept thinking back to simpler times, before anyone had written a book on how to sleep train a baby. What did moms do then? They wore their babies and kept them close. I wanted it to feel simple and practical for us. Scheduling definitely works for some babies (it worked for Jay!), and maybe I’d feel differently if Poppy had done well with it too, but if Elliott was going to be anything like her it was a hard no. So I donated my baby scheduling books. What we did instead gave us the best sleep we’d ever had with a newborn, and it made us want to do the newborn stage all over again.

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For about four years I made it a daily habit to keep up with my TikTok scrolling for "viral research," to save the sounds I kept hearing over and over, find the videos that were doing well, and figure out how to put my own spin on them. If I jumped on a trend early it had a better chance of taking off. Chasing virality was the formula that was working for me, and reach was all I cared about back then, which I explain more in my recent post Is the Influencer Era Dead?. When I first started going viral I was posting twice a day on Tiktok, then it was once a day consistently, and I kept that up from 2020 until the middle of 2024. The first post that really took off was me sharing my story of being a young mom, and from there it was styling outfit transition videos, then the funny videos like me “acting like my Gen Z daughter”.

I gained so many followers from that stretch and for a while it felt like I'd cracked the ever elusive algorithm code. But the people who came in from those videos were there to be entertained. They’d comment “I followed you from the Gen Z video,” and I’d think well, that was one video, and most of what I post is nothing like it. They’d followed for the funny videos and were waiting for the next one, and if my next post didn’t also go viral, most of them were never going to see it anyway because of how the FYP was structured.

When a video did well I was happy that all the research, planning, filming, and editing felt worth it, and when one didn’t I’d get down on myself, like the hours I’d spent creating and editing were pointless because it didn’t get the views. I tied it back to the feeling when I would get an A on a research paper in college, that I did everything my professor was looking for and got rewarded with the grade. This was of course completely different but it felt like my performance was tied to views and creating for what I thought other people wanted to see and it left out the part of building a deeper connection with my audience. At that time, going viral was the thing that helped boost someones account and set them apart from other creators, got them ins with brand deals or shot up in fame that opened other doors, there were many how-to create viral video tutorials and many others were thinking there has to be some secret to this and if they could only crack the code. But I’m here to tell you, viral is a poor game plan. Sure, if you create something that was true to you and it resonates with many people, thats one thing but creating for the idea of going viral can be left in the past.

It took me awhile to get to this point, after years of trying to stay on the “viral train” it’s hard to get out of that mindset. The part that would keep popping up in my head was remembering why we started our blog in the first place. When I quit my job to pursue blogging full-time (more about that in this post) it was to have the time to work on it during the day and also to be there for Jadyn for after school pickup, and somewhere along the way and in those most recent four years I’d started to feel like a slave to the content and that this job was owning me. Anthony and I would have these conversations, this feels draining and pointless, if we’re only looking at it from the money side we could do something else to make money, it didn’t feel like I’m helping anyone. At the same time it’s also not that deep, it’s videos and photos. But I felt like it could feel more meaningful, especially with having to stay motivated to want to keep creating, I lost my why. I wrote about our move to Tennessee and the season that led up to it in these posts here so I won’t go through all of it, but that’s where the real change happened, when we stopped and asked ourselves how we wanted to live and how we could keep doing this at a pace we chose and why going viral is the last thing I want now…

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I don’t follow every trend, just the ones that feel like me and still feel classic, which is really why I love watching the runways. It’s less about copying a look and more about getting a visual for colors and textures, then figuring out what I’m inspired by and what I’m fine skipping. So after going through my favorite designers’ fall 2026 shows, here are the six trends I really love and how I’ll bring a little of each into what I already wear without spending a fortune. Everything listed below is under $300.

The thing I loved most about this season wasn’t a single piece, it was the styling. Prada sent models out who changed their look on the runway in real time, and one stylist said it made her want to go home and see what else she could do with what she already owns. Celine did it with rings and belts, Bottega and Tory Burch did it with a collar peeking out of a crewneck, Valentino did it with a sash. It’s a good reminder to get creative with the pieces I already own, and it got me thinking about the few additions that would make my closet feel new again, which is where this list comes in.

I’m drawn to cotton and natural fibers when I can find them, especially for the everyday basics. If it’s a base layer I’m going to wear three times a week, a tee or a sweater or a button-down, I want it to be cotton or wool or cashmere, because those are the pieces that hold up. If it’s a more structured, stylish top, something for an occasion, or outerwear (especially anything that needs to be waterproof!), I’m not too picky about the materials. But gone are the days of spending quite a bit on a top I think I’ll wear again and again, only to find out it’s an itchy 100% polyester.

I kept all of this in mind when selecting the pieces below, being as mindful about materials as possible:

I love the styling of a full-length trench. It just reads more luxe, it moves better, and it makes even a tee and jeans underneath look so chic. What I’ve been drawn to lately is that English countryside look, the kind of thing you’d wear to walk a garden in the Cotswolds (I’ve never been, but it’s on my list, it looks gorgeous!). Being out in my own garden and inspired by fall, I’m interested in pieces that are weatherproof but still versatile for everyday life, and it turns out the runways had the same idea this season. Ralph Lauren, Hermès and Stella McCartney all sent out riding boots and tailored jackets, Chloé did check blazers belted with what looked like horse tack, and Acne Studios and Paloma Wool went country in their own way too. Stella McCartney even had ponies at her show. Tweed and waxed cotton were everywhere with it, the heritage fabrics that only get better as they wear in, and a cropped tweed jacket over a white shirt is the fastest way to get the whole look in one piece. There were also beautiful funnel-neck coats, like this one I just got.

The styling I loved most was at The Row, where the trench was worn with gray tights and nude pumps. I usually think of a trench with boots or flats, so seeing it with a heel turned it into an evening look without changing the coat at all.

Here’s my favorite picks for english countryside:

• a full-length trench coat

• a relaxed trench in beige

• a wool-cashmere cocoon coat

• a tie-belt wool trench

• a twill safari jacket in khaki

• the corduroy barn jacket in camel

• an organic waxed cotton barn jacket in forest green

• a workwear jacket

• the casual waxed jacket

• a cropped tweed lady jacket

• Luxe woven tote in dark chocolate

I didn’t currently have anything cobalt in my closet. Then I watched the Chanel, Givenchy and Bottega Veneta shows back to back and it was the only color I remembered and how effortlessly it was styled multiple ways. Mugler put it right next to chartreuse just to prove a point (chartreuse is not my vibe, I'll leave that one on the runway, but I love the blue). The bigger idea on the runway was two bold colors worn together, which Marc Jacobs, Valentino, Prada and Tory Burch all did. Tory Burch and Bottega did it with just a collar or a cuff of blue under a crewneck, and that's the version I'm stealing. I love this way to style it:

It feels like a fun color to add while still keeping it true to my personal style. I love adding it with accessories if you don't want to go all in with a sweater, and the cinched waist of a belt is a really cool way to incorporate it. Here’s my favorite picks for cobalt:

• cashmere scarf

• a midi trench in blue

• a blue denim jacket

• an organic cotton boyfriend crew in sapphire

• a cashmere crew cardigan in blue

• a cashmere knit scarf in blue

• a cashmere and wool triangle scarf

• a pleated cummerbund belt

• a leather shopper bag in vibrant blue

• a blue shoulder bag

• a cinched blazer in cobalt

• a funnel neck buttoned jacket

Red is always so stunning for fall, and poppy red is the fresher version for this year. It was everywhere on the fall runways, in long red dresses at Valentino and Fendi, red leather at Ferragamo and Balenciaga, and bright red knits at Chanel, Alaïa, Prada and Celine. I love it with a trench most of all. I just got this red scarf and I already know I’ll wear it constantly, knotted at the neck with the trench or tied around the waist. Here’s my favorite poppy red picks:

• a collarless tailored blazer in poppy red

• an oversized cotton cable sweater

• an oversized V-neck sweater

• a red boatneck sweater

• the wild rag scarf in carmine

• an embroidered cotton cap

• a mini shoulder bag in red leather

• a half-zip cotton sweatshirt in red

• a stand-up collar jersey top

• a cinched blazer in red

• a scoop rib knit cardigan

• a funnel-neck jacket in negroni

• a long red trench

• a draped top

Plaid is the one print I’ve never gotten tired of, and this season it was everywhere, but what I loved is that no two designers did it the same way. Acne Studios made it feel like horse country, Celine and Dior made it feel like a private school uniform in the best way, Chloé went soft and bohemian with it, and Chanel turned the classic tweed jacket into something that almost looked like chainmail.

It’s also a little nostalgic for me. I recently went to a dinner for Boden and the whole theme was tartan, which took me right back to high school. I was on the cheer team at Glendora High in CA, and our team name was, no joke, the Tartans. The mascot was a Scottie dog in plaid, other schools loved to point out that we were named after a piece of fabric, but the cheer uniforms were always so cute and I spent four years decked out in plaid and grew to love it.

Here’s my favorite plaid/argyle picks that feel fresh for right now:

• a checked cotton twill shirt

• a plaid poplin overshirt

• a cropped cardigan in brown and navy argyle

• a cropped barn jacket

• the quilted jacket with the tartan collar

• a cashmere tartan scarf in oatmeal and red

• an alpaca argyle neckerchief

• a blouse in navy and lemon plaid

• a plaid zip top

• a check flannel trench coat

• a plaid hooded jacket

I’m all for oversized looks, but this season was more about tailoring. You can still wear an oversized shirt, but the waist is cinched so perfectly. The silhouette moved closer to the body. Ralph Lauren and Jacquemus did skirt suits, Jonathan Anderson restyled Dior’s Bar jacket, and the tailoring at Givenchy, Gucci and Saint Laurent was sharp and fitted rather than slouchy. The theme was define the waist. An easy way to do that is belting what you already own, tucking in your shirt, or sizing down on your next jacket, which is a great way to make something you already have feel fresh again. But if you want one new piece, make it something with a waist.

This blazer I wear so often. I’m 5’10” and wearing a size large, and I could have gone down to a medium for an even more tailored fit, but I love the cut of it. It’s not under $300, but I’ve worn it so many times I’ve definitely gotten my money’s worth!

Here’s my favorite picks for a cinched waist:

• a belted wool-blend wrap coat

• a fitted jacket with a defined waist

• a cinched jacket

• a fitted black top

• a fitted-waist cotton shirt in white

• a cinch-waist long sleeve top

• a peplum sweater tank

• a knit fitted-waist tee

• a fitted-waist interlock top

• a long waisted blazer in black

• a linen vest with an elastic waist

• a cinched-waist peplum sweater in black

The jewelry on the runways was one big piece instead of a stack. Chanel did chunky collars that looked like sculpture, Chloé put oversized charm pendants over turtlenecks, Nina Ricci brought back the choker in a Marie Antoinette way, and Saint Laurent sent out necklaces so big they were paired with earrings just as big. The idea is that one heavy piece carries the whole outfit, and for someone who loves a white shirt and jeans, that's something I was really drawn to. Here’s my favorite statement pieces:

• a layered freshwater pearl statement necklace

• a gold and brown pendant necklace

• a sculptural gold necklace (I just got this one and it looks so cool with a turtleneck or a tee, and the pendant comes off so I can wear it as a plain gold chain too, love it!)

• beaded statement earrings

• flower pendant earrings

• polished brass bow earrings

• embossed metal earrings

• a statement stone necklace

• a gem pendant necklace

• molten glass statement studs

• a gold-plated topaz statement ring

• a molten metal pendant necklace

My favorite shoes for fall

Not really a trend, more the ones that work with every outfit above and that you'll wear again and again:

• black leather ballet flats: love the square toe

• a glove flat in camel: these are sooo comfortable and zero “breaking in” period, which I worry about with new flats sometimes and getting blisters. Not these ones, I have them in caramel color.

• penny loafers in chocolate brown leather: I just got these in the chocolate brown and they feel very luxe.

• a pointed toe suede: love the shape of these and suede always adds beautiful texture to an outfit.

• leather boots: I love the flat heel on these and the rounded top.

• a heritage western boot: I’ve worn cowboy boots here so often mainly because a classic pointed toe looks so chic with jeans, and these are so durable in any weather.

• classic nude pump: perfect for that Row trench look.

The elevated basics underneath

Not a runway trend exactly, but every outfit above starts here, and this is where I hold the line on natural fibers. Chanel did a lot of tan and cream this season and Pantone's color of the year was a soft white, so a cream tee and a good pair of jeans are more on trend than ever and feel very fresh!

• a balloon-sleeved cotton blouse

• a merino wool tee

• white long sleeve tee

• a 100% cotton long sleeve white tee: I just got this and it fits SO cute.

• a 100% cotton oversized sweater

• Pima cotton tank: these are my favorite tanks, I have in white and black.

• soft white turtleneck

• elevated button-up

• low-slung baggy jeans

• high-rise wide-leg jeans

• classic dark high-rise jeans

A few I’m leaving on the runway

Not everything grabbed me, and that’s the point of following your own taste. The Art Deco moment was beautiful, all those beaded flapper dresses and drop waists at Chanel and Fendi, but drop waist isn’t flattering on me (especially after multiple babies). Animal print is having another big year, and I was there two years ago, wore it constantly, and just donated two leopard coats, so I’m sitting this round out. Chartreuse and bright yellow are not my vibe, however good they looked next to cobalt at Mugler. And sheer, which Prada and Khaite did so well, is one I’ll admire on other people but doesn’t feel as practical for me at the moment.

xx Brittany

We’re currently at the park, and the kids are smacking sticks together saying they’re playing music while I make these voice notes. I’ve been thinking about a few things lately and wanted to get them all out, so if this feels a little jumbled, it’s because I’m doing voice notes on my phone.

First of all, I’ve seen a couple of posts recently from what

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Since posting last week on Instagram about how old is too old to have a baby, I’ve gotten so many questions about how we conceived Clive. Many were about if we went through IVF (no, we didn’t). And other questions were about what helped me get pregnant naturally at 38? I filmed four videos documenting those months, the two week waits, the negative test, the morning I found out, but nowhere did I have it all listed out in one place for an easy reference. So that’s what I’m doing here… writing out everything I did during those six months, what I did differently the cycle we got pregnant, and what I’d do now if we were trying again.

Some of this came from my functional health doctor, some from my chiropractor and acupuncturist, and some I picked up from researching how to boost my health to not only conceive but have a strong pregnancy. I’m not a doctor, I’m sharing my own personal experience, and hopefully some of these tips could help you if you are in that trying to conceive period or are thinking about it in the future.

As I sit here writing this I have a chonky 4 month old boy on my lap (18 pounds!) and remember the feeling of finding out I was pregnant last Labor day weekend and waking up Anthony at 6am with the test strip saying, it worked!! Everything we had been doing (many daily prayers included) was for this little life, and now he’s here and the biggest joy! I’m the kind of person that likes information to make a decision, so that’s how I approached trying to conceive, I was also 38 so I wasn’t in the mindset of “if it happens it happens” and “wait and see”, no I’m going to not only support myself for optimal health but I wanted to optimize all of it, here’s everything I did:

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We love ice cream here (especially with simple ingredients), and it's my kids' favorite dessert, with this chocolate date syrup and sprinkles. When Jay was here our favorite ice cream was sold out at Sprouts (the organic Strauss one is so creamy), so I wanted something like that to make at home. No churn means you don't need an ice cream maker, just a mixer and a container, and I usually make it the day before so it has time to freeze up. This base is so easy to make and I love these little ice cream containers to store it in. Plus you can add whatever mix-ins to make it how you like.

We’ve made sprinkles and chocolate chips, strawberry using strawberry puree, and cookie dough and chocolate flakes was more recent. The fun part is doing it with the kids, Jay was shocked it was homemade with how creamy it was and how easy it was to put together with no churning. It's fun to be creative with it, plus you know all the ingredients. Everyone's favorite is the rocky road with homemade marshmallows.

For this recipe I've included our rocky road version, but if you went without the mix-ins it makes a delicious vanilla.

Tools & Supplies

• Stand mixer or electric hand mixer

• Large mixing bowl

• 9x5-inch loaf pan (I use these)

• Rubber spatula

• Measuring cups or kitchen scale

No-Churn Rocky Road Ice Cream

Prep Time: 15 min · Freeze Time: 4–5 hours (or overnight for firm) · Total Time: About 5 hours · Serves: About 8

Before You Start

• Have homemade marshmallows made ahead and cut into mini pieces.

• Roughly chop the walnuts before you begin.

• You’ll need a hand mixer or stand mixer and a 9x5-inch loaf pan.

• Plan your freeze: 4–5 hours for a soft scoop, or overnight for firm.

Ingredients

• 2 cups (480 g) heavy cream (I like that brand bc no added gums)

• 1 can (14 oz / 397 g) organic sweetened condensed milk

• 1 teaspoon (5 g) vanilla extract

• Pinch of salt

• 1½ cups (about 75 g) mini homemade marshmallows

• ¾ cup (90 g) walnuts, toasted and roughly chopped

• ¾ cup (240 g) chocolate date syrup, at room temperature

Instructions

1. Beat the heavy cream in a large bowl with a hand mixer or stand mixer until it holds stiff peaks, about 5 minutes.

2. Add the condensed milk, vanilla, and salt. Fold gently, stopping as soon as it looks even so you keep the air in.

3. Fold in about three-quarters of the marshmallows and walnuts, plus half the date syrup. Leave the syrup streaky rather than fully blended.

4. Scrape into a 9x5-inch loaf pan. Drizzle the rest of the date syrup on top and drag a knife through it a few times. Scatter the remaining marshmallows and walnuts over the surface.

5. Cover and freeze for 4–5 hours for a soft scoop, or overnight for firm. Store in the freezer.

xx Brittany

I recently took a weekend to complete the areas that were bothering me the most and it felt so good after! As a mom of three little ones working from home (and one in college, but she organized her room before she left thankfully), my house is not in pristine order daily. There are toys usually spilled out to be played with and they get cleaned up before we go to bed. I want my house to feel lived in and my kids to feel it’s a safe space to run around and be kids. But I don’t like clutter and keeping something because I’m not sure where else to put it, what I’ve found is that when there’s LESS in the house to begin with, I feel more at peace and the cleaning up goes faster.

UCLA studied families in their own homes for years, and the moms who called their houses cluttered had higher stress hormones, and it went up as they walked from room to room. So maybe they’re onto something and it isn't just in my head. A house with less in it to me is a calmer house.

Fall is when I like to do this because the holiday season gets pretty busy. This also gives me a good idea for Christmas presents for the kids because we clear out what isn’t useful and can be more mindful of what we get them (I don’t go crazy with Christmas presents for the kids like I used to in previous years, lessons learned but that’s for another post!). I used to get decision fatigue where I wouldn’t know where to start first and would get really stuck on the decluttering part (I would always find some reason to keep something). Here’s what I’ve found to help me get the job done quicker…

I start with whatever area is bothering me most, which is almost always the playroom. Recently it was our entryway too, so I worked on both, and I'll keep going through the other areas this month. Break it up into manageable tasks, like today I do my closet, tomorrow the bathroom drawers. Saying it will all get done in one day isn't practical and hasn't worked for me in the past. Then I follow the same order for every spot in the house: declutter, deep clean, then make it cozy.

Part 1: Declutter

I break up the house into rooms or categories. For the playroom the category was toys, I like putting everything in one pile so I can see it all at once. So for example, here’s the before:

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I'm very picky when it comes to sales, but that wasn't always the case. I used to talk myself into every one, calling it "saving money." Now I’m much more intentional about it, I keep a running list of things I need from brands I already love, and I wait. Labor Day is fun because so many brands have sales. Here's what made my list, and the one question I ask before anything goes in the cart: would I pay full price for this? Most of the home pieces featured are from Lulu and Georgia, they have 25% off sitewide and it’s really good because that doesn’t happen often:

The living room

We haven’t painted the living room yet or hung art on the walls but I love that we moved and all the pieces still work in this house too:

The Merrit sideboard is a little long for where I have it right now, but I love it so much I’m keeping it here for the time being. It might need to go in the entryway but I haven’t styled that area yet. It’s the collab with Sarah Sherman Samuel and I love her interior design, I bought it when we were in San Marino.

The Baird swivel chairs come in so many prints, but I still think they’re so cozy in the brown, and these wool light filtering curtains.

The wool throw in the color rust lives on our chair and we use for movie nights. This one is perfect in brown too. The Olema handwoven wool throw I’ve had since 2023 and it’s still in good shape.

Our round coffee table is sold out, but this one is the one I'd buy now. I love a round table with little ones. When they start walking I’m not worried about sharp corners, we had a square marble coffee table in our first house with Poppy and I was always nervous about her falling into it, so I’d keep her out of the living room. That’s not practical, I want our living room to be cozy and a place for the whole family. And the kids loveee this sheepskin ottoman, especially when we light the fireplace.

Our Chiltern rug is thick and cozy and the quality is great. Mine is the colorway with more pink in it and I wish I’d gone a bit darker like the copper color.

The Kemble woven basket holds our firewood and looks pretty next to the fireplace. It’s from the Heidi Callier collab and her rooms are always so warm and elevated at the same time.

The Deep Silence print is in Anthony’s office waiting to be hung. We’re behind on a few house projects but it will be up hopefully soon! Here’s what it looked like at our previous home:

The dining room

The Raphael sideboard is in our dining room and I love how light it is next to the other furniture. I still need to hang prints and style that area more. I’m borrowing Jay’s lamp from her room, I just ordered this one.

Our bedroom

The lamps, the nightstands, the full length mirror are all from the collaboration with DISC Interiors, who do beautiful work out in LA. We need to paint our room still, not loving the grey walls it has currently, but here’s how they were styled in our previous home:

My bedframe comes in so many prints.

I love this Lee tall dresser I use the inside shelves for folded sweaters and joggers for the fall and it makes it easy to see everything alongside having drawers.

The Vekki bedspread is on our bed now. I originally bought it for Jay’s room last year, but with her new room here the mattress was smaller so it was too big. See Jay’s room before and after here.

Avocado mattresses. Every mattress in our house is an Avocado because the materials are truly clean, organic latex, organic wool, and organic cotton with no foam, no chemical flame retardants, and no fiberglass. Up to 20% off mattresses and 15% off bedding and bath.

The kids’ rooms

The kids both have Lorena Canals washable cotton rugs in their room (see them in this post), these are some of my favorites, dog pillow, checkered rug, line rug.

This dresser and Anastasia mirror are in Poppy’s room. I painted it Incarnadine Red from Farrow & Ball most recently:

It’s adorable in the white too, how it was in her previous room:

In Jay’s room (see them all featured in this post): the Birchly chandelier, the Monroe velvet pillow on her bed, and the Duna organic towels in her bathroom. The bath sheet is huge and so cozy, and the hand towels can be personalized, which gives it that hotel touch.

My kids’ both have avocado toddler pillows and Elliott has the crib mattress and Poppy has the kid mattress. See how I styled Poppy’s room in this post.

Boden is 15% off new kids’ styles. I had to get this jacket and dress for Poppy (thinking would be perfect for Christmas), sooo cute!

I love Hanna Andersson, especially the matching print above. Their site is 40% off and code FUN20 takes another 20% off your order. These toy story PJs in 100% cotton are adorable! I love this dress and this for Poppy, this and this for Elliott, and this and this for Clive.

Elevated closet staples:

Madewell is up to 50% off sale, plus 25% off fall selects with code LONGWEEKEND.

I love this look: my jeans, shirt, belt, shoes. I’m 5’10 and wearing a size 27 Tall in the jeans, if you’re over 5’9 the tall length is perfect. The jeans have a tiny bit of stretch:

Left: Low slung baggy | Right: Low Rise Loose (both in the tall length)

Other items I’m loving from Madewell: woven bag, tank I own in barn red, loafers.

MATE the Label organic cotton basics that hold their shape after washing. Their Long Weekend Event is 20% off sitewide I love their biker shorts and leggings.

Other honorable mentions:

Helmi pendant, the Kalani pendant (we put this in the stairway of our Pasadena house), the Garda sconce, a dried strawflower wreath for fall, the Dori linen placemats, the Pearl stoneware, and wavy dinnerware I use nightly. the Darcia vase, and the Olivia candlesticks. The Villers compote bowls

The KitchenAid Artisan stand mixer is $100 off and Crate and Barrel is giving 20% back in reward dollars on top. I use it every day and it’s worth the money. With the holidays coming it’s nice to catch it on sale.

xx Brittany

I’ve been in this space since 2013, which means I’ve been through different waves of people saying it’s over, or that it’s not a long-term plan, and lately it’s being talked about more than it has in years. There was a Vulture piece called “The Influencer Recession,” about aspirational content losing its grip and creators turning to what the writer calls brand-safe rage bait just to get seen.

Jennings’ argument is that this is a supply problem. Too many people want to work in the attention economy, and attention runs on supply and demand, so the formula that worked ten years ago, post something aspirational enough consistently enough and an audience finds you, has stopped working. She points out that individual creators are now competing against clipping farms, companies paying people thousands of dollars to flood platforms with clips, which means an average post has almost no chance of reaching anybody new. On top of that, the aspirational stuff reads as tone deaf now, and luxury has gotten too common to signal anything, with one creator telling her that everyone has an Hermès these days. So people are reaching for rage bait instead, because anger still moves. She's right that it's happening, but I don't think it's a great strategy (more on this later).

NPR followed in August with an episode titled “The influencer era is dead. What’s next?” And talks about streaming as what comes next, and brands buying their way into the background of somebody’s live stream, then paying clippers pennies to spread those moments around. That’s the billboard model again, just cheaper. I’m no streamer, but when it comes to fashion, beauty and lifestyle brands, that’s not what I’m seeing. Brand budgets were at their wildest around 2020 and they’ve tightened since, but the deals didn’t disappear, they got selective. Brands are being much more careful about who they work with, and what they’re asking for isn’t eyeballs anymore.

I started my blog right after we got married in 2013, called Thrifts & Threads (my then IG handle too), thrift store finds mixed with whatever was already hanging in my closet. I loved fashion but we were also doing Dave Ramsey’s envelope system to pay off our credit card and student loan debt, so I didn’t have much extra to spend on my clothing budget, and finding cashmere or leather at a thrift shop and styling it was how I grew my blog. I was so excited when a brand reached out wanting to send me an item to feature in my email blast, because I could get the clothes I loved without increasing my clothing budget, and when another blogger told me I should be making a rate card and charging for those features and getting paid for my time, my mind was blown. This is was my first rate card:

My husband and I got really strategic and were so consistent, working on the blog on the weekends to make sure we had posts ready for the week while we were at our corporate jobs. Once I started making a little money at it, I also had a weekly section about how to start a blog and grow on Instagram, and my email list ended up being those who wanted outfit ideas plus other potential bloggers trying to build their own site.

I packed up my desk of my corporate marketing job at an insurance firm, in June of 2015, right as Jadyn got out of school for the summer. The blog had been outearning my salary for six months in a row and I wasn’t planning to leave if it hadn’t. I remember standing there thinking I really hope this keeps going, because it felt so freeing, no more late nights and weekends working on the blog, now I could be productive during the day with it! I also didn’t want it to be a failure and I didn’t want to waste the momentum my blog had going as my readership kept going up and that helped book even more blog post jobs. My CEO and CFO at the time were so supportive but I’m sure were a bit confused about what I was doing, because at the time I put in my notice I had 50k followers on IG and they were shocked it was making me money but also happy for me. I drove home that day thankful and completely determined to stay consistent and help people even more than I had been. Anthony left the following year after the business matched his salary six months as well.

Quitting meant I could pick Jadyn up from school and she no longer had to do the after school care, and it was the first time I ever felt like I had a flexible job to be there for her. She was eight and loved my blog because in her mind that’s why I was there every day at pickup.

We kept posting and focusing energy on hitting the Instagram algorithm to increase my followers, and every week I’d watch the numbers go up when I posted specific photos at certain times of day. I’d post ripped skinny jeans holding a coffee on a Thursday evening and it would do so well. I knew exactly what to post and when, and I’d hit some kind of flow.

I won Breakthrough Blogger of the Year at the 2015 Bloglovin’ awards and got my first agent for sponsored deals, and every deal we booked made us more excited that we’d made the right call going full-time.

My first designer fashion show was Chloé, fall 2016. And I only got invited because I’d bought one of their bags and worn it on repeat and kept using their #chloegirls hashtag, and someone in their PR office noticed and invited me. I’d never even been to Europe before; I had only recently traveled out of the country for the first time ever for our honeymoon. Anthony said well, we’re going, we have no clue what we’re doing but we’ll figure it out! They sent me an outfit and bag to wear to the show, and I sat in there certain I wasn’t supposed to be there, because my blog was called Thrifts and Threads and this was designer fashion. But I was so inspired, already thinking about getting home and writing up the trends I’d seen and the outfits I’d worn. That trip was where we figured out we loved traveling and loved not being tied to an office, and it made us want to work even harder to keep the whole thing going.

Nobody paid me for that bag. I bought it, I wore it constantly, I tagged it, and a person at Chloé happened to see it. That was the entire mechanism back then, and nobody was measuring anything. It was all happening organically, and I was very excited that I had saved up for that bag, believe me I was going to be posting it everyday!

The early deals were blog traffic and email inclusions, then Instagram got added on, so it was a blog post plus a grid post. When Snapchat and Stories showed up brands wanted the daily check-in, you walking through your day on video, and I was terrible at it. I’d been shooting outfit photos in sunglasses for years and suddenly I was supposed to talk to a camera without them, and I felt so awkward. I forced myself to get over it and learn it anyway, because you either evolve or die in this business. A deal by then was a feature plus a post plus stories, sometimes all three.

I only got on TikTok because of Jadyn. It was her favorite app and I didn’t understand it at all, so she’d sit and show me videos, and what I noticed was that I was barely seeing any fashion on there. That looked like an opportunity. I started in 2019 and was posting from the shows in Milan and Paris that March, right before COVID hit, and it opened doors to brands I wouldn’t have reached otherwise. Then the pandemic came, with everyone stuck at home the whole thing took off, and I gained millions of followers in a few months. At one point I was posting two TikToks a day, heavy on outfit transitions, and the editing ate hours because of all the clips, and that was on top of Instagram photos and the blog (which by then had become brittanyxavier.com). Everyone was trying to crack the code on going viral and brands were paying whoever managed it. Something had to give, so we stopped posting on the blog and put everything into video. We also grew my YouTube channel to over a million by focusing on strategy for that. Audiences followed whoever was most viral then, and brands paid for my reach.

But something began to happen…

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I walked into the ADU (where we set up her room so she has her own space for the summer) out of habit, said "Jay," and then it hit me, she's not here anymore, and I got emotional in there. All summer that was my little routine, poking my head in to see if she wanted matcha, or to come along for whatever I was doing that day, and the kids were always running in there to find her (usually waking her up much earlier than she was planning). Now it's quiet, and I got so sad standing in it, her bed was neat and she left her room all organized.

We just got back from dropping Jay off in Boca Raton for her sophomore year at Lynn University. This letter is the whole weekend, an hour into a 13-hour drive and she's on the wrong freeway, the dorm room rearrange, and the goodbye in a hotel lobby that got all of us teary eyed...

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We’d never been to 30A, (I hadn’t even heard of it until we moved to Franklin). People here kept asking if we’d been, and it’s the way many people here visit the beach without getting on a flight. It’s about a seven hour drive, and if you leave early enough in the morning you’re there by the afternoon, so it’s doable with kids. We left later than we wanted to and and stopped more times than originally planned, we ended up getting in by 10pm, but we eventually made it!

The area is named after Scenic Highway 30A and the communities are strung along it one after another, Seaside, WaterColor, Grayton Beach, Rosemary Beach, Alys Beach, and Seagrove, which is where we stayed. Each one has its own feel, some planned out and some older and more lived in. There’s a paved bike path running the whole length of it so people get around on bikes and golf carts, and the water is so clear and turquoise it almost looks like the Caribbean.

We were looking in Seagrove specifically. It's right in the middle of everything, Seaside a few minutes one way and Rosemary Beach a few minutes the other. It's one of the older parts of 30A too, it grew on its own instead of being planned out all at once, so it's live oaks and magnolias and beach cottages mixed in with the bigger houses. I loved the trees and nature along the houses, I kept forgetting the beach was so close.

Top | Pants | Headscarf | Earrings

The house we stayed at is called 10 Palms 30A and it has ten bedrooms! That sounded like way too much house when we were first looking at it and then we counted our six, plus everyone who wanted to come, and it ended up being perfect. There was enough space to have the kids nap in a quiet area while everyone was being loud in another part of the house. And traveling as a family of 6 now means we'd most likely need two hotel rooms, especially as the kids get bigger. So finding a house that felt like a hotel resort but we had our own private pool and space felt so nice! People usually book it for bigger groups too, company retreats, bachelorette parties, a few families going in together, etc.

My friend Jenna met us there with her husband Kevin and their two little girls who are five and one. Jenna and I met at cheer tryouts in high school in 2001 at Glendora High School in CA and we've been close friends ever since. She's in Colorado now and we would typically see each other when she'd visit CA, her family has a beach house in Newport Beach. But we hadn't seen each other since we moved to TN and had been trying to figure out if we would go out to her or she would fly to us, and they had been wanting to check out 30A too and had never been. So we thought this would be the perfect spot to go and for both of us to have a beach vacation. Our friend Jeff came from Miami, which would be a nine hour drive for him, so he flew. We originally met him in 2016 when he was shooting street style photos in New York, and he and Anthony connected at our first Coachella and have been friends ever since (10 years!) And Anthony's family drove down from Tennessee for the last half of the trip. None of us had been before so we weren't sure what to expect. It was also the last trip we did before Jadyn went back to college, so having all of us together was what I was really looking forward to.

We booked through 360 Blue and Natural Retreats. It felt like staying at a hotel but with the ability to make food and do laundry, that was key, I packed so much lighter knowing I could wash clothes there. There was concierge service the whole week, so if we needed anything I could just text them and they’d handle it, they were so great!

The beach access with the house was private. It was a three minute walk, you go down the path off 30A to a gate, and there's an attendant who walks you over to your set up, chairs and umbrellas already out for all of us, every morning. It's right next to the public beach and so much less crowded. The water was so clear, and my kids would not stop talking about how soft the sand was, it was really powdery and white!

(I’ve had this swimsuit for two years and it’s one of my favorites! It’s sold out in red but linked the black one)

It was Clive’s first time at the beach. The water was so warm I could let him splash in it for a bit, and he sat there chewing on his hand, happy, the water coming up over his feet.

Our days were spent with beach for the first part of the day, back to the house to swim in the pool once everyone was hot and hungry, then the walk back down for golden hour, which was SO pretty. At night we’d put a movie on out by the pool and the kids would swim while it played (we did ISR swim lessons earlier in the summer and this trip was even better knowing my kids could swim!). It reminded me of our Disney Cruise in a way, because we would go to the beach off the boat and come back later and swim while they played a movie on the deck, Anthony said the same thing too.

There was a coffee shop called Prema Organic around the corner and we walked over each morning and got their Balance Latte.

The house had a golf cart so we took it around and explored, and we ended up at Coastal Rancher for eggs and snacks, they had grass-fed beef, pastured eggs and raw milk too, which is not what I expected to find on a beach trip. And we got donuts delivered from Heirloom, which fries theirs in beef tallow.

We cooked together every night in the kitchen. With a large fridge we shopped for groceries when we got there and I brought supplies to bake and that made it convenient to eat as a large group, going out to eat would have been a bit tricky with more than 10 people. Anthony made his burgers, which are my favorite because I love how they’re seasoned:

Anthony’s Burgers

2 lb ground beef
1.5 tbsp salt
1.5 tbsp pepper
1.5 tbsp onion powder
1.5 tbsp garlic powder

Mix, roll into balls, smash down into patties.

Poppy turned five while we were there. The kids swam most of that day while I worked on her cake and made sourdough for dinner, and then we walked over to see golden hour at the beach and came back and she opened her presents.

On her actual birthday we did a 5 year old pancake which is a yearly tradition, and she wanted the chai tea from Prema around the corner, so we walked with me to get it that morning and she felt special, she told me she “felt like she was 5 now!” So cute!! Also how has it been 5 years since she was born??

Towards the end of the trip we took a pontoon boat out to Crab Island, set up by 360 Blue with Destin Party Pontoon (you can set up excursions through them too). It was one of our favorite moments of the trip! Clive, Poppy and Elliott had their life vests on for the ride over (I was dying with how squishy Clive looked in his!), and once we docked the kids took theirs off to swim out to the raft with us.

My linen button-up (size Large)

The water there is so shallow that people are standing around in it playing and swimming, and it’s so clear it felt like swimming in a pool, everyone hanging out on their boats and so many kids out there. Clive was on the raft with us for a while and then slept on the boat for his nap, and Anthony’s mom was there so she kept wanting to snuggle him while the rest of us swam. Poppy and Elliott were jumping off the rafts the whole time. There was a fresh fruit boat going around taking orders that we were able to have coconuts delivered too.

As for the house, there was so many different areas to explore… ping pong, shuffleboard, the views from the fourth floor deck, the kids never ran out of things to do. It felt relaxing because we didn’t have an itinerary.

My dress | Bag | Heels

We’d end up around the couch or the table talking too late and the kids would be off playing together in the house. We originally thought we’d go out and explore the downtown areas more but we were all content hanging at the house and being together.

White one piece | Earrings

On the way home we stopped at Salty Bottle, which is a popular spot Jadyn saw on Tiktok and wanted to try it, and it was so good, there’s something fun about trying out cute new coffee shops.

There’s so much of 30A we didn’t see, and we already know we’re going back, everyone was saying it in the car. Next time we’ll explore more of it!

xx Brittany

I usually would buy birthday cakes for the kids, but last year at Poppy's 4th birthday I made her this berry one and it turned out so great! The layers were easier to do than I thought. Now it's been fun to think of what kind of cake they want and how I can make it. I’m also able to use better ingredients this way too along with homemade frosting. I made this no-bake watermelon “cake” last year to display the fruit too, and it was a hit!

For Poppy’s mermaid cake I let her pick everything out ahead of time so we could pack it for our trip. She loved the mermaid figurine with the bubbles as well as this number 5 mermaid candle.

I asked her what kind she liked and she said vanilla with white frosting, so that was the plan. This one came out so spongy and moist, and she said it's her favorite cake! I only put a thin layer of frosting between the layers, but depending on how much frosting you want, you could make the layers thicker. We put the leftovers in the fridge, and eating it cold the next day was also so delicious. I didn’t get a good picture of the inside of the cake until the next day when the kids were already digging into the frosting on the top (they LOVED the frosting), the sprinkles also made it look so festive and these ones are dye-free:

Elliott and Poppy were talking together about what cake he should choose for his birthday in November, it was really sweet! Last year I made him this checkered flag cake for a race car theme, which came out so adorable and I highly recommend it.

The recipe below includes how to make the frosting as well as what to do if you want to make cupcakes instead of the cake. Here’s the supplies I used for Poppy’s mermaid theme: balloons, mermaid streamers, iridescent steamers, mermaid cupcake liners.

Tools & Supplies

• Three 8-inch round cake pans

• Round parchment paper (or cut it out)

• Stand mixer or electric hand mixer

• Large mixing bowl

• Medium mixing bowl

• Fine-mesh sieve or flour sifter

• Rubber spatula

• Measuring cups and spoons

• Cooling racks

• Serrated knife, for leveling the cake layers or cake leveler.

• Offset spatula, for frosting

• Cake stand or serving plate

For Cupcakes

• Cupcake pans

• Cupcake liners

• Cookie scoop or measuring cup, for portioning the batter

Vanilla Birthday Cake

Prep Time: 25 min Bake Time: 30–40 min Total Time: ~1 hr 30 min (plus cooling) Serves: 12–16

Before You Start

1. Bring the butter, eggs, Greek yogurt, and buttermilk to room temperature before you begin. This helps the batter mix evenly and gives the cake a softer, lighter texture.

2. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease three 8-inch round cake pans with butter and line the bottoms with parchment paper, or I used an olive oil spray and sprayed down the parchment paper rounds after placing them inside.

3. Make sure the cake layers are completely cool before frosting. Even slightly warm cake can melt the buttercream.

Ingredients

For the Vanilla Cake

• 3¼ cups all-purpose flour

• ½ cup cornstarch

• 1 teaspoon baking soda

• 1 teaspoon baking powder

• ¾ teaspoon kosher salt

• 3 sticks (1½ cups) salted butter, softened

• 2 cups granulated sugar

• 3 whole eggs + 3 egg yolks, room temperature

• ¼ cup Greek yogurt, room temperature

• 1½ cups buttermilk, room temperature

• 1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

For the Vanilla Buttercream

• 3 sticks (1½ cups) salted butter, softened

• 4½ cups powdered sugar

• 1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

• Milk, 1 teaspoon at a time as needed

Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease three 8-inch round cake pans and line the bottoms with parchment paper.

2. In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, cornstarch, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.

3. In a large mixing bowl or stand mixer, beat the softened butter and sugar on medium-high speed for 3–4 minutes, until very pale, light, and fluffy.

4. Add the whole eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the egg yolks one at a time, then mix in the Greek yogurt and vanilla until combined.

5. Turn the mixer to low. Add the dry ingredients and buttermilk in alternating additions: flour, buttermilk, flour, buttermilk, flour. Mix only until the final streaks of flour disappear. Do not overmix.

6. Divide the batter evenly between the three prepared pans. Place the pans in the oven with at least 1 inch of space between them.

7. Bake for 30–40 minutes, until the tops spring back when lightly pressed, the edges begin to pull away from the pans, and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out with a few dry crumbs.

8. Let the cakes cool in their pans for 10 minutes. Turn them out onto cooling racks, remove the parchment, and allow them to cool completely before frosting.

Vanilla Buttercream

1. Add the softened butter to a stand mixer and whip on medium-high speed for a full 5 minutes, until very pale and fluffy. Don’t rush this step. Whipping the butter thoroughly is what helps keep the frosting light instead of greasy.

2. Turn the mixer to low and add the powdered sugar 1½ cups at a time, scraping down the bowl between each addition.

3. Add the vanilla, then beat on medium-high speed for another 3 minutes until light and fluffy.

4. If needed, add milk 1 teaspoon at a time until the buttercream is soft and easy to spread.

Assembly

1. Once the cake layers are completely cool, use a serrated knife to level the tops if they have domed.

2. Put a little buttercream frosting in the middle of the cake stand to help the cake avoid slipping. Place the first cake layer on your serving plate or cake stand and spread a thin, even layer of buttercream over the top. Repeat with the second layer, then add the final cake layer.

3. Spread a thin crumb coat of buttercream over the entire cake. Refrigerate for 15 minutes to set the crumb coat.

4. Cover the cake with the remaining buttercream and smooth the top and sides with an offset spatula.

5. If your kitchen is warm, refrigerate the finished cake and remove it about 1 hour before serving.

For Cupcakes

Use the same batter without making any changes. Line cupcake pans with liners and fill each about ⅔ full.

Bake at 350°F for 18–22 minutes, until the tops spring back and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out with a few dry crumbs.

The full recipe makes approximately 30 cupcakes.

For a half batch, halve all of the ingredients and use 2 whole eggs + 2 egg yolks. This will make approximately 15 cupcakes.

While I was pregnant with Clive, I'd be out somewhere and people would ask me if this was my first, and when I'd tell them he was my fourth and that I'm 39, I'd get a surprised look. Then they'd ask the ages of my kids and get even more confused when I said my oldest is in college, because I couldn't possibly be "that" old. So it had me thinking… when is it too old to have a baby?

Is it external pressure about the age? Is it because I had Jadyn so young that I was always considered the young mom, and now I'll be considered an old mom?

I get asked this a lot too. People message me saying they’re worried they waited too long, or that they’re 37 and their doctor said something that scared them about being a geriatric pregnancy, or that they’re not old enough, 24 and everyone around them telling them to wait even though they’re married and feel ready.

If you’re new here, Jadyn is my oldest and I had her when I was 20. She turns 20 herself this January. I was a single mom until she was 3 when Anthony and I met, and by the time we got married and settled into life together she was 6. Then Anthony and I waited 8 more years to have a baby together. Poppy was born when I was 34, Elliott when I was 36, and Clive this past May at 39. There’s 19 years between my oldest and my youngest, and I’ve been on both ends of it, 20 with my first and 39 with my fourth.

So I'm getting out all my thoughts on it, what having a baby at 20 was like versus 39, where that geriatric label came from, and when I think it's too old.

(Also, my trying to conceive series has everything I did to help me get pregnant, and how I prepped for a healthy pregnancy and birth at 39)…

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Our packing piles have officially started in the living room. We leave for 30A soon (our first time going!), and it's about a six-hour drive with all four kids (well, Jadyn is an adult kid, but you know what I mean). With a road trip it's easy to overpack, there are no TSA restrictions to hold me back, so I had two choices: get systematic or bring too many things we won't use and waste space in the car. I got systematic, and now I have a good system down for staying organized. I like to pack early in the week so I know if I need to get any supplies, and have enough time to grab them if I do.

Clothing:

This time I'm packing the kids sudoku style, and it's such a great space-saving idea! Poppy and Elliott each get a 3 by 3 grid laid out on the bed: three tops across, three bottoms, and three layers. The rule is every top has to work with every bottom. If a shirt only matches one pair of shorts, it goes back in the drawer. The pieces are overall pretty neutral, so everything can be mixed and matched. That's 27 outfit combinations from just nine pieces!

Because it's a Florida beach trip I'm not doing heavy layers, but this method could easily work for any trip, even one where colder weather layers are needed. And instead of one of Poppy's layers, I opted for a sundress she can wear over her suit to go to the beach.

Each kid's grid goes into their own packing cube, and all three cubes fit inside one suitcase. (Jadyn packs her own bag, 19 years old and well past letting me plan her outfits.)

And because our rental house has a washer, I'm only packing enough PJs and swimsuits for half the trip and doing one load mid-week, three PJs and three swimsuits each. That means we're traveling with half the clothes we'd typically pack, because I'd normally do a full outfit per day per kid and always end up with items they never wore. Now that I'm packing for Clive too, I need to be really efficient with space, because I have his diapers and extra supplies to pack.

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Food:

Being prepared with food on the way is a huge help, I do this for planes and especially for road trips. On the way there it's nice to pack a lunch because it eliminates a stop and any wondering what's for lunch. Egg salad sandwiches, beef sticks, goji berries, chia pudding, cheese, and fresh fruit, all packed the night before, and we eat at a rest stop or a park where they can run around for fifteen minutes.

And for the meals we do eat out on the road, we use the Seed Oil Scout app to find restaurants near us that cook the way we eat at home. It's a map with little color-coded pins that show what each kitchen cooks with, butter and tallow versus seed oils, and you can filter for things like grass-fed beef. It's how we find the organic spots in towns we've never been to before, and I love using it to find good coffee shops too!

The drive:

Poppy and Elliott get one small backpack each of toys and books for their seat, and whatever fits is what comes. We typically don't do screen time at home unless it's Friday, when they get to watch a movie. But on the road they each get to watch two movies, and they'll nap and do activities in between. The week before the trip, we don't do any screen time at all, because I told them we're saving it for the drive, and now they're looking forward to it.

The backpacks and movies keep everyone happy on the drive. Keeping everyone healthy is the prep I care about most. Especially when traveling, vitamin C is a must for us. Summer asks more of our bodies than it looks like, long days in the sun, travel, new environments, and nobody is getting sick before Poppy's birthday beach trip if I can help it, so we've been on top of our doses. The front seat gets the console kit that I always have on hand in the car: snacks that don't melt, wipes, and a little zip pouch where our vitamin C lives. That's Pique's Daily Immune, the vitamin C plus elderberry we take daily, and it's become one of the few supplements I never leave home without. It comes as a little packet you drink, no water needed (but it tastes so good added to water too).

I used to take the pill version of vitamin C and thought that covered it. It's not just whether you take vitamin C, it's whether your body is able to use what you take. Regular vitamin C is water soluble, so a lot of what's in those pills passes through you before your body puts it to work. Pique's Daily Immune is liposomal vitamin C, meaning the vitamin C gets wrapped in a tiny layer of healthy fat, almost like it arrives in its own little delivery package. It's designed for superior absorption, so more of it gets delivered where your body needs it instead of washing out, supporting daily immune health and collagen production for brighter, more radiant-looking skin. And healthy skin isn't just about what you put on your face, it's about what your body has to work with every day. It's also made with real organic elderberry juice, no artificial sweeteners, no fillers, and the kids loveee the taste, so they each get their tiny bit and feel very included.

If you want to try it, my link is piquelife.com/brittanyvc, for 15% off, and every order has their 90-day money-back guarantee.

Arriving

Before packing our beach supplies, we checked what our rental provides, and they really thought of everything! Chairs, umbrellas, even a golf cart to drive around. So we’re not packing beach chairs or towels, those will all be there. We’re bringing an ice chest with our fish and meat from the farmers market, because we can count on the quality, so that just leaves the sides to buy from the store (I’m also bringing all the dry ingredients to bake Poppy’s cake and cupcakes there). Depending on what time we arrive, we’ll hit the local Whole Foods that night or first thing the next morning. I like to get the food set up for the week early, so we can grill while everyone swims and pack lunches to take down to the beach.

And when we pull in, there's an order to it: the ice chest comes in before anything else does, fish and meat straight to the fridge, then we deal with the rest of the car. After that we always unpack, it's the method I've followed on past Disney cruises to stay organized, and I'm doing the same here. Living out of the suitcase seems easier, but by the end of the week it's a mess and nobody can find anything, so each kid's cube gets organized into a drawer. It especially helps to unpack the toiletries and get settled that first day. I pick the laundry corner the same night, I bring a portable laundry bag that all the dirty clothes go in, so the mid-week load is grab and go instead of a scavenger hunt around the house. And the beach bag gets packed before bed for the next day and lives by the door, sunscreen, hats, water bottles filled, so mornings start on the sand instead of hunting for things, and the vacation begins! :)

I’ll share how it all goes! Thank you for being here.

xx Brittany

We started a pile in the corner of the living room for everything going with Jadyn, and it’s slowly growing as move-in day gets closer. Her doormat is already in there, the one from our Target run last week. When we get back from 30A we’ll repack the car and gather the rest of her things to drive her back to college. The kids have been having so much fun with Jay living in our ADU, and they always want to go out and visit her, so it will be sad when she leaves, because I know she’ll miss them showing up each morning, sometimes waking her up earlier than she planned. And she already mentions how big Clive will look the next time she sees him, of course we’ll be FaceTiming, but it’s never the same as cuddling a baby in person. It feels like summer has flown by (and it’s not over yet!), but it’s getting close.

Most of what’s in that pile isn’t decor. It’s the same swaps we’ve made here at home; her sheets, her detergent, her water, the light in her room. Here’s the thing about a dorm room. It’s a vinyl mattress a hundred other students have slept on, fluorescent tubes overhead until midnight, and everyone else’s dryer sheets and plug-ins drifting down the hallway. We can’t change any of that, and we’re not trying to. What we can change is what’s inside her four walls, the light she reads by, the water she drinks, what her sheets are made of, what her clothes get washed in. I always think that if you can make home the place where her body gets a break, it’s easier to handle everything she can’t control out there. Jadyn recently did an HTMA test and her top stressor was pesticides, which is tough because the college cafeteria isn’t organic, but water is one of the ways pesticides show up, so filtering her water was the first thing I wanted to get right this year. The sophomore dorms are a bit bigger, but she still won’t have a kitchen where she can cook her own meals, so she’ll do what she can and I’ll help where I can.

The first one is the same one we did last year. Dorm lighting is bright and cold and it stays on late, and all that blue-heavy light at 11pm works against the body’s natural wind down, so I got her an amber bulb for her freshman dorm, one that screws into any lamp and is 99.94% free of blue light. I got her roommates one for their lamps too so they could all sleep better. This year she has her own bedroom, so she can keep the overhead lights off completely and just use the lamp at night.

The rest of this one is for my Substack family. I’m sharing the full list zone by zone and why each thing matters, and what she’s bringing. There’s also the swap list and what we’re not sending, plus a plain-language cheat sheet for every certification on these labels and a printable checklist you can take to the store.

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I love this focaccia because it's about as simple as bread gets. No kneading, no shaping, no scoring. You mix it at night and it does the work while you sleep.

If you don’t have a sourdough starter you’ll need one for this recipe, so check out my instructions on how to start one from scratch. Feed it about 12 hours before you make the dough. I fed mine in the morning and it was bubbly and active by evening, and that’s when I mixed everything up.

The cast iron is what makes this work as a pizza. The oil in the bottom of the pan fries the underside of the dough while it bakes, so the bottom crust is crispy when you cut it and the edges go dark and crackly. The inside is sooo delicious. Jadyn is obsessed with this version of pizza, and she said I should add even more cheese next time. Note taken.

Par-bake the crust before you put anything on top. This means baking the dough by itself first until it's cooked through, then adding your toppings and finishing it. I learned that one the hard way. I figured I could bake it the way I bake focaccia on a sheet pan, where it crisps up evenly all over, but cast iron is heavy and slow to heat, so the dough sits in a cool pan while the oven is already hot. Add sauce and cheese sealing the top and the middle stays gummy no matter how long you leave it in. Cast iron is worth it, though. Nothing else gives you that fried, crackly bottom crust, and the par-bake is all it takes to get there.

Save the basil for the end if you want it green. Baked basil browns and shrivels, and fresh basil torn over the top tastes better too. I baked mine because my kids think raw basil is a tad spicy, and if it’s cooked a bit they eat it all, so do whatever works for your preference.

You can also top it however you want. Ground beef if you want more protein on it, or hazelnut spread and strawberries once it comes out for a sweet one. Here's how I make it:

No-Knead Sourdough Focaccia Pizza

Prep Time: 20 min (plus rising time) Bake Time: 28–30 min Total Time: About 15–20 hours Serves: 4–6

Before You Start

Make sure your sourdough starter is bubbly, active, and has doubled before mixing the dough.

I used a 12-inch cast iron skillet.

Plan to mix the dough the evening before and bake the pizza the following day.

Use cool water, not warm. It slows the rise down overnight so you wake up to dough that’s puffy instead of overproofed and flat.

Ingredients

50 g active sourdough starter (about ¼ cup)
375 g cool water (1½ cups + 1 tablespoon)
20 g honey (1 tablespoon)
500 g all-purpose flour (about 4 cups, spooned and leveled)
9 g fine sea salt (1½ teaspoons)
3 tablespoons olive oil
Flaky sea salt, for sprinkling
¾ cup pizza sauce
2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese (about 8 oz)
1 cup cherry tomatoes, halved
¼ cup fresh basil leaves, torn or thinly sliced

Instructions

In the evening after your starter is active and bubbly: In a large bowl, whisk together the sourdough starter, cool water, and honey until well combined.

Add the flour and sea salt. Mix with a fork or dough whisk until a shaggy dough forms, then finish mixing by hand until all of the flour is incorporated. The dough will be very sticky.

Cover the bowl with a damp towel and let the dough rise at room temperature overnight (about 70°F) for 12–18 hours, or until doubled in size and full of bubbles.

The next day: Pour the olive oil into a 12-inch cast iron skillet, coating the bottom and sides well.

Turn the dough into the skillet and gently flip it so both sides are coated with oil. Don’t stretch it yet. It will relax as it rests.

Cover and let the dough rise again for 1½–2 hours, until very puffy.

Preheat your oven to 425°F.

Using lightly oiled fingertips, gently dimple the dough all the way to the bottom of the pan, pressing it evenly to the edges. Sprinkle with flaky sea salt.

Bake the crust without toppings for 18 minutes, until the surface is set and lightly golden with no wet spots remaining.

Remove the skillet from the oven. Spread the pizza sauce evenly over the crust and top with the shredded mozzarella.

Return the pizza to the oven and bake for 10–12 minutes, until the cheese is melted and bubbling and the edges are deep golden brown.

Let the pizza rest in the skillet for 5 minutes. Scatter the fresh basil over the top, then transfer the pizza to a cutting board. Slice with a pizza wheel and serve warm.

xx Brittany